This week’s question comes from Harriette in Marin: “I entered therapy about 5 years ago to deal with some issues involving sexual abuse as a minor. I had struggled with relationships and self esteem for years. I wanted to heal and move forward with my life to establish safe, healthy relationships. My therapist was a man who works with a large healthcare provider. He said it would be good for my process to work with a man, as that is where my trauma lay, abused by a relative who was a man. After a year my therapist and I became intimate.
First it was in the office during sessions, then it progressed to meetings outside including my home. He was married but said he would leave his wife. I thought this was good for me, I felt loved by a man who was stable. I became pregnant and am having his baby. My best friend pressured me for the name of the father.
I resisted. Then he stated that he could not be my therapist anymore and questioned my fidelity accusing me of sleeping with someone else. I was crushed. My baby will be born in two months. My friend says I need a lawyer. Am I at fault? He didn’t rape me, I guess I consented, but I feel foolish and betrayed.”